Recently I was flipping through our conference Ensign and decided that I wanted to re-read Elder Uchtdorf’s talk titled “Of Regrets and Resolutions.” As I read his talk I was amazed at how much the Lord knew me, because this talk was exactly how I was feeling that day and the advice given is exactly what I needed to hear.
For those who haven’t heard or read this talk, it is based
off of responses to a question a nurse asked to her elderly patients before
passing away, she would ask them “Do you have any regrets?” The question caused these
people to look back on their lives and determine what they wished they had done
differently.
Three of the most common responses were
1.
I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
2.
I wish I had lived up to my potential.
3.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
The first response is something that’s been pulling at my
heart strings a lot more than I would expect these past few months. I never
thought of myself asd someone who got home sick or someone who's only desire was to where they grew up. I always thought I would be happy to break out of my
little bubble and move on with life in a new place where I would be able to
rediscover or reinvent myself per say. I
would love moving forward being a new me with no past to tie me down.
However, that hasn’t exactly been the case. Moving to Honolulu
has been hard on me. Don’t get me wrong I am glad to be here and I am glad to
support my husband and go wherever we are supposed to go, but it has been a lot
harder than I thought being so far away from family and my home town where grew
up. I have never been so far away from home and at times I just feel stranded without any
way to get back. When I read about those who responded to their question by
saying they wished they had spent more time with their loved ones I was comforted knowing I wasn’t
alone in wishing for the comforts of home and family.
The second response hit me even harder, “I wished I had lived
up to my potential.” Geesh! Story of my
short 22 yr. old life! I am not trying to say I feel like I am a complete loser
and failure every single day of my life because I don’t, I just recognize that
this is a feeling I often have. There are a lot of times when I wish I were doing better and that in several situations I had
done things a little differently.
There are times when I just sit around thinking about how I have acted
or reacted to things in my life and I just wish I could hop in a time machine
and go back and do things better. I guess that’s probably a universal wish for
most people though.
Most of the time I just wish I knew how to be the "me" Heavenly Father desires
me to be. I sit and read my patriarchal blessing and end up feeling so confused about some of the
things it says and then I start to feel as if I am failing. As you can imagine this sort of thing doesn’t ever make me feel good about which is why I think
the third and final response Elder Uchtdorf talked about had the most impact on me.
The third response was “I wish I had let myself be happier.”
What a wakeup call for me! As I sat
there thinking about how the previous two responses related to me I realized
that this one is the one that I really needed to pay the most attention to. I need to learn to let myself live in this
moment and embrace the things I have and make the best decisions I can while I am
at this point in my life so that I don’t end up having to have those same
regrets. I need to cherish the moments I
get to talk with my family members and friends back home. I need to learn how
to love and support them in their lives from all the way over here in Hawaii so
that I never feel like I haven’t done my part in supporting them. I also need
to learn to realize that I am forming a new family support group here with all
the new friends and acquaintances we are making; especially since almost all of us are far
from home. We need to become a family so we can all enjoy our time here
together. I need to spend time with my husband and little Benson and spend the time building
happy memories that will make me smile when I look back on them.
I need to realize that all I can do is to do my best and that
even if I try to do my best every day I am sure that when I look back on my life there will still
be moments I will wish I could go back and change. But I do not need to dwell in the
past, I need to enjoy today and embrace the opportunities and challenges I encounter.
There is a lot more to this talk and a lot more I could go
on to say, but this is the bulk of the lesson I got when I reread this talk. I
was stunned that something I heard just a few short weeks ago had already been forgotten
and that I already needed to be reminded of these things again. I am thankful that I was directed to this
specific talk and that it has given me a renewed strength to enjoy my
surroundings and to be grateful for the blessings I do have. By making the
fullest of what I have I may not completely eliminate regrets in my future but I
can definitely minimize them and be a lot happier along the way.
Below is a link to Elder Uchtdorfs talk. If you have time to
read it I don’t think you will regret it. ;)
-Lauri
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